I have been a football fan ever since I can remember. I was a fan before I was an athlete and long before I was a coach’s wife.
I was an emotional fan at a young age. I would get stomach aches walking into Ohio Stadium because the thought of Ohio State losing made me sick. I was ecstatic after a win and devastated after a loss. My emotions to the game of football have only grown since I was a kid. I ended up marrying a football coach and now I watch the game through a whole different set of eyes.
Being a fan is important. The coaches and players feed off the emotions of the crowd and rely on the crowd during those tough downs. Anyone can be a fan during the good times, but support and understanding is even more important during the hard times.
As a coach’s wife and a mother to three young children, I have encountered all types of fans. I have come to the conclusion that fans fall into three different categories, which I have listed below.
The Too Laid Back Fan: To the laid back fans, you are the fans who really don’t care about the outcome of a game, but yet feel you need to voice your opinion on public forums to all those fans who are showing disappointment.
The thing is, you think you’re being Switzerland, but in reality you are just adding fuel to the fire. You see, there are hours upon hours spent in preparation for a game. Coaches and players spend more time together than they do with their own families. There is so much thought behind that 48 or 60 minutes of playing time and so many pieces to the puzzle that need to all fit just right.
So after a loss, there is nothing more than a coach or player can’t stand to hear than, “Don’t worry, it’s just a game.” or “Having fun is all that matters, not winning and losing.”
Now, I completely agree with this mindset in youth sports, however once you get to the high school varsity level and beyond, these types of comments can be insulting. You cannot tell a coach that his passion, his career, his livelihood is simply, “just a game.”
It’s not just a game, it’s the very thing that puts food on our table, clothes on our backs and a roof over our head. So to these fans, I ask, next time you want to try to calm a situation by replying with “It’s just a game.” please don’t. You can think it, but don’t say it or type it.
The “Know It All” Fan:
Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, to the fans who feel so entitled to speak their mind after a loss and even more so feel tweeting, posting or sending hate mail is completely unnecessary. While you may think you know better than the coach, you don’t.
You aren’t at school with the players, you aren’t at practice with the players, you do not know what goes on in the locker room or the bus. You simply DO NOT KNOW the whole story. So when you THINK you know better than the coach, I’m going to ask you to keep your thoughts to yourself. Most people do not have thousands (or tens of thousands) in their office watching their every move at work, so please keep in mind when you are yelling such hateful comments about a coach that his/her family is there too. His/her children are running around and may be within ear shot of your words. Please be respectful to those around you.
The Just Right Fan:
Finally, let’s talk about all the JUST RIGHT fans. To all these fans, thank you! Thank you for your support and thank you for your concern and disappointment.
Sports brings so many emotions out in people. We want our fans to feel all the feels with us. We want your excitement, but yet, we want your disappointment too. Coaches and players do put hours upon hours into game preparation, so when our team loses, we expect disappointment, it means you care, which we like. We want you to be mad BUT want your understanding.
At the end of every game there is a winner and a loser, it’s life. We expect you to understand that it’s not possible to win every game, we expect you to understand that sometimes, things just don’t go our way. So while we understand your disappointment, we also appreciate your understanding.
For all fans, please know that there is literally no one else involved with a team that wants to win more than the head coach because when he/she loses, he/she is well aware of the consequences.
When he/she loses, his career is questioned and there are ten people waiting for his job. A coach does not need reminded of his/her loss, he/she doesn’t need YOU to tell him whats needs to be done. There is a reason behind who plays when and where and a reason why others don’t play at all. It is not up to you to tell that coach how to do his job. Trust me, he/she has people for that.
So next time you are watching a game of any sort, show your support proudly, understand things happen and show your disappointment among family and friends, not on social media.
While this piece is geared towards the football fan, it applies to all fans at all levels.
