Lakers Coaching Assistant Shay Murphy on Her Full Circle Moment, Honoring Her Father & Kobe Bryant, and Championship Mentality

Los Angeles native Shay Murphy has an infectious spirit and smile that can draw anyone in. Losing her father at a young age, basketball filled a void and helped Murphy cope with such a devastating loss. Murphy can recall the moment she fell in love with the purple and gold. She can recall the moment her idol Kobe Bryant watched her play at Staples Center and she missed her free throw in front of him.

Now she’s coaching for the team that she grew up rooting for in a full-circle moment. She has already made history as the first woman to be hired in a coaching position in Lakers history, but she’s not stopping there. She makes sure her voice is heard at practice, having players check their egos at the door. It’s this championship mentality that she brings after winning it all in 2014 with the Phoenix Mercury. Murphy spoke with us about being one of a handful of women working in the NBA, her personal connection to Kobe, and having big dick energy in a room full of men.

How does it feel to be a coach on your favorite team?

I could not make this up. It just proves my faith so much in Jesus. I love the Lord.  I was thankful for little things and my mom always said be thankful for little things and greater things will come to you. I remember being happy just to be on the YMCA junior Laker team with Jordan Farmar. I sucked. I was super poor and I had to play basketball be“I could not make this up. It just proves my faith so much in Jesus. I love the Lord.  I was thankful for little things and my mom always said be thankful for little things and greater things will come to you. I remember being happy just to be on the YMCA junior Laker team with Jordan Farmar. I sucked. I was super poor and I had to play basketball because when my dad died in order for me to go back to school I had to go to a kid’s therapist. The therapist told my mom it would be a good idea for me to have an after-school activity so I could help mourn the loss of my father.

She signed me up for karate and three weeks later after doing karate I saw these kids wearing a reversible jersey. I remember jaywalking across the street and asking them where are you guys going, what does that mean.  It was like shimmery purple and gold. They were like we play basketball at the YMCA. I begged my mom. I was like please mom sign me up. I can wear these every day to school and she said I just paid a $150 deposit for karate. I said I promise mom I’ll be so good if you sign me up and she signed me up. I played basketball and I never looked back.

Since 1996 and that same year, Kobe’s first year, that was my first year and that’s the year I lost my dad and he and Derek Fisher came to the YMCA kids, my team. Jordan Farmar was on there. He played at UCLA, he won a championship with the Lakers, and he played with Kobe. Now I’m coaching. God’s so big. He’s like I always had a plan for you, Jeremiah 29, ‘For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper, plans to give you hope and a future.’

He already knew I was going to be big and I just had to start believing and then little things kept happening. I was just super happy for getting a scholarship at my high school which was $20,000 a year then I got over 300 scholarship offers and I went to USC, then I got drafted, played in Europe, and I won I was just always happy. I work for Nike now and now the Lakers. God’s always been good to me give it back to people and I’m super positive.

As a champion yourself, what does it really take to win a championship in professional sports?

I didn’t realize until later in life, when I retired, when they say it’s 90 percent mental and ten percent physical that’s true. I’m learning all the hard work, all the BS of the real world mentally right now. I’m behind mentally because I had basketball and I had physical so I had a protection, I was in a bubble, but when they say it’s ninety percent mental it’s because your mind has to believe. Your mind has to know that you’re good no matter how you’re playing. Your mind has to know even if the haters behind Instagram and Twitter talking crap about you, your mind has to be stronger than that to know that’s not true.

I think one thing to being a champion is being disciplined. I didn’t date, I didn’t party in college or high school, I was disciplined. I was able to block everything else out. You have to be disciplined then you have to be consistent and that’s what Kobe did with the mamba mentality. You made one shot, now do it again, you made two do it again. I did one film now I have to do three films. It’s being consistently disciplined then it’s your work ethic, your effort. Are you going to do it when no one’s there? Are you going to go shoot at night when no fans are there? I used to climb the fence after work at 10:00PM to shoot outside. Nobody told me to so it’s about being consistent, having discipline, and being a good person no matter what. Are you going to be the one that’s talking shit on the bench or are you going to be cheering and those are hard.

They don’t teach that in America. In America we learn if you’re not number one, you suck. You’re not Batman. Not everyone can be Batman, we need Robins and that’s what I think European basketball taught me, how to be a good teammate, how to pass the ball. America is about one-on-one, being the GOAT, being the boss. We can’t all be Batmans. Let’s have some Robins on the team.

Kobe Bryant had a big impact on your life. You even have a Kobe tattoo. How did his passing affect you? 

I took it really hard I was at Nike and I flew home to LA and I was home for a whole week. I mourned because when my dad died I was so young I didn’t have time to process it, to really understand that he was never coming back. When Kobe died it was just like 20 something years I was holding that in and it was my time to mourn two men that mean so much to me.

I remember Kobe came to see me play at Staples Center. Before every free throw throughout my whole career, my mom used to say shoot your free throws like Kobe, not Shaq, so I started saying Kobe before every free throw. I remember being at Staples Center and I was playing for the Mercury he was sitting front row with Gianna and I looked at him and I said do I say Kobe or do I look at him? I remember my first free throw I looked at him and I missed. I was like oh God I can’t miss in front of Kobe. I said Kobe before the second one and I made it. My whole family was like you missed your free throw in front of Kobe!

It was really hurtful. It was really hard. Also losing him with Gigi because I knew them going out together, Vanessa Bryant said it best, God knew that Gianna could not be on this Earth without her father and that’s how I felt when my dad died. I wanted to jump off the balcony and my mom and my aunt had to pull me off because I really wanted to die with him. When Vanessa said that God knew Gigi couldn’t be on Earth without her father that reminded me of me. I almost didn’t want to be here without my dad either. It was just too much similarity for sure.”

Have you spoken to the Bryant family?

No, I was at the ceremony at Staples Center. I’m definitely looking forward to meeting Vanessa in the future. I know Natalia goes to USC. She’s a Trojan, I’m a Trojan. That’s a smart LA connection, but I’m definitely looking forward to just thanking her for being a strong woman, mourning the loss of a father becoming a single mother. I’ve seen my mom do it, it’s very hard. I really hope I have the opportunity to meet her.

I also thank her friends in her life like Ciara, Lala, and Beyonce rallying around Vanessa to uplift her. That’s what people did for my mom. They helped us get food, get Christmas gifts when she became a single mother. So seeing them really behind her during this time, to me that was the most beautiful thing seeing women uplift women because in corporate we fight each other.  To see these women rally behind her, to me that’s sisterhood, that’s big dick energy for sure.

How do you define BD energy?

I’m doing BD energy now. BD energy is just embracing other people not being afraid to be yourself. It’s about bringing everybody else with you. How many people can I make laugh? How many people can I give something positive to? That’s what big dick energy is for me.

I’m working with a publicist now. Big Dick Energy Entertainment ran by women. In order to qualify for that you have to be comfortable in your own skin, want to help others. You have to be so positive that it’s scary and contagious. I’m the only female on the court with the Lakers. I’m the loudest one. I’m like Dwight Howard you don’t want this smoke, DeAndre Jordan you don’t shoot like me. I’m the only female, but I’m the loudest one. At 8:00AM I’m like what’s up everybody? I walk around with this energy and this presence. It’s like this when I met President Obama and same thing with Victor who cleans the floor. I treat everybody the same, my energy is for everybody.

It’s intimidating to men, but I’m going to be myself. God made me different for a reason. It’s so contagious. There’s enough bad, shitty, negative people in the world why do I have to be one of them? I choose not to be.  People need to start getting used to BDE entertainment. I’m starting a movement of strong beautiful women of all nationalities and all sizes. I want that, I believe in that. If the Kardashians could do this just based off social media, I’m actually an athlete. I won a championship, why can I be big? Why can’t it be Blacks and browns time?

Is it championship or bust this year for Los Angeles?

“The energy has been amazing. Seeing LeBron James lead the team and all the vets following him I really believe that we can do something special. I won a championship with the Phoenix Mercury and we have the best record still in the WNBA, 29-5, and for us to win it was chemistry. You can’t buy chemistry so I think we have a great chance because everybody checked their egos.

My thing as a coach is I ask for a low five that means give me your ego. I’ll give it back to you after practice. When I ask for a low five, check your ego here for the team and you’ll get it back when you leave the gym. I think if we can stay healthy everyone’s already working hard, the energy is stupid. If we check our egos, there’s going to be good games, there’s going to be bad games, there’s going to be days you don’t play, but as a pro, as a champion you have to know how to handle all of that because it’s for the bigger picture which is a championship. When I ask these guys give me a low five that’s check your ego because they’re the greatest players in the world, they’re at the top level. If we just stay healthy, we have chemistry, and we check our egos I think the Lakers can be unstoppable for sure.

Another female coach, Becky Hammon, said when you are a woman in sports, the men on the roster know the plays better than anyone and you better know what you’re talking about. What are your thoughts on that?

Yeah, there’s a lot of differences. The NBA is a different level. The athletes are bigger, they make more money, and it’s a quicker pace. I was really fortunate because Lakers head coach Frank Vogel knew me since 2011. He was an Indiana coach and I played in Indiana. He knew my energy. He knew that I had the tools so now I’m with a bunch of guys what I don’t know. It’s already good to have a foundation, a reputation of being positive, having a smile on your face everything else in life you can learn. I know the plays.

Kurt Rambis said I’m one of the best shooters on the team. I was like yeah coach you better Google search me. To have Kurt Rambis, the Laker legend, know my game I can learn the video, I can learn how to do drills, but what I cant learn is being a good person. I can’t learn my energy. I can’t learn my smile, how to treat people. I think that’s why I was able to stay thirteen years in the WNBA. It wasn’t because I was the best player or the best scorer, made the most money I was a good person. I was positive. I had good energy and that’s what these men need. They need to have fun.

They’re making millions of dollars they don’t have to do this ever again. So if it’s not fun why do it? If I can just teach anybody to have fun everything else will come. If you love what you do, you’re going to keep doing it and doing it so I want people to know that about me. Everything else I can learn. I already had the Brooklyn Nets coach say hey coach I saw what you did, great energy. That was only game one. I’m so excited. I thank my team, my guys I’m working with who are being nice with me. A lot of people would say a lot of bad stuff like there’s haters, they don’t want women there, but the guys I’ve been with have been so supportive and positive that I’m like fangirl of all of them. 

What are your thoughts on the growth of the WNBA?

I love that they signed the big ESPN deal. I love locker room fits like following the girls, getting the women some more publicity. It’s like our time is now.  I think the league has come a long way and I’m really excited to see where it’s going to be in the future. I’m just so happy me name’s a part of this legacy. It’s all about the legacy. LeBron says strive for greatness, Kobe has Mamba Mentality, mine’s BDE all day, every day 365.

What is your best advice to women who want to work in sports? 

My advice is believe it, see it, and you can achieve it. You have to be thankful for the little things and I truly believe greater things will come. So when you’re in the gym be happy to be in there. When you’re driving your car in traffic be happy to have a car. I didn’t have a car until we were thirteen years old. We walked everywhere. That’s like a way of life.